I am already thinking what some of you might be thinking once you’ve read my title, which is… “Yes we know the adage that what we think in our mind’s will come true”….hence “The Secret” (The big craze that came out several years back). “The Secret” is a philosophy that basically conveys that when you say to the universe what you want it will attract to you. So, some of you may whole heartedly agree with this philosophy and others of you may be skeptical; both sides are completely a hundred percent right for you and your life.

In saying all of this I stand more on the side of believing in the philosophy of the Secret. Though at times like all of us human beings when life becomes challenging I can slip through the cracks and become pessimistic or stuck in Victimitus land. Per my book The Friendship Effect, a victim is one who doesn’t take responsibility for one’s actions and behaviors and who feels like everyone is out to get him or her.

The interesting thing is that many people explain how to attract what you most desire in your life based on the power of your mind; though do not describe how to prevent you from attracting things you least desire in your life.

What are we to do when we have days, weeks, or longer when we are strolling around aimlessly in Victimitus land? How do we escape? My answer is: The Power of our Mind. As I explain in my book our minds can be our best or worst friends.

So allow me to convey the technique which will help you take your quickest bus out of Victimitus land. When you say what you want to the universe and put forth energy into it, it does eventually attract to you. The same goes for things you least want to attract. For example: After going on a run several weeks back my ankle felt a little tweaked. It was no big deal as I am an avid exerciser. Though, the next day at zumba class once I began I instantly thought, “I should totally not do zumba.” Though my hardcore past soccer days made my mind be quiet and I finished my zumba class even though my ankle was not a hundred percent.

The next day I realized I needed to take a sabbatical from working out. Two weeks went by and I still had not done zumba or running to give my ankle a break. I still went to zumba class right after it ended twice a week since afterwards I taught English. Every time my zumba teacher and the other ladies would ask why I did not partake in zumba and each time I answered “Oh, my ankle is still hurt. So I am going to take it easy until it gets better.” I would even point to my ankle and show them where it hurt when they asked. Then they would typically answer, “Oh you and your poor ankle. Hope you get better soon.”

By telling my zumba teacher, class participants and numerous other people in those two weeks (husband, friends, family, etc.) that my ankle was hurt I was using my mind power and words to keep my ankle hurt longer than it really needed to be. I was telling the universe, “My ankle is hurt.” So my body would go to bed, wake up and treat each day as my ankle being hurt, working out was not an option because it was resting, hence it remained hurt.

The end of the second week of my ankle being hurt my husband, daughter and I flew to Maui (where my husband is from) to visit family for the Thanksgiving holiday. None of my friends or family there knew about my ankle. The first day we got there, I went for a light jog around the neighborhood. The following day and each of my ten days thereafter I ran. I didn’t just run down the street and back I ran up and down some pretty massive windy roads.

My husband said, “Babe, how is it that your ankle was hurt just the other day in California and not now in Maui?” Of course we joked that duh, of course it was better because we were in tropical Maui where much can seem great and healed. Though, I honestly told my husband that it was all in my mind. That the previous pain I felt in my ankle was real, though that I nursed it along for way longer than it needed because with my mind and my words to others I made it stay alive by telling everyone around me about it.

So do you see now how not so great things that happen to us can stay alive for longer than they really need to, even physical ailments? Think about something not so great that has happened to you. Do you recall it ruining your entire day, or even longer? If so think back as to why it did…did you tell everyone with two ears about the incident? By spreading the word you are feeding and attracting more of what you may least desire, such as I did with my hurt ankle.

There is a caveat I would love to share with you as well. None of us are perfect and to overcome some life situations we really do need to share some of our challenges with others, to be able to then move on from them. So if something upsetting happens to you and you need to get it off your chest to be able to move on please do. Cry if you need to cry, it is healthy. Just be aware what you choose to share with others and what you want to keep alive. I sure know that in the future if I do feel pain in an ankle or any other part of my body I am not going to sing to the chorus about it.

The best thing about now knowing how to prevent and or stop attracting less desirable things into our lives (answer: not talking all the time about it) is that we are then more inviting for friends to want to spend time with us. Who wants to be around others who are always talking about what is wrong (a victim)? By using the power of your mind in positive ways you will attract more friends your way.

Many people subconsciously discuss what is wrong with themselves for instant attention in the form of, “Oh you poor thing” or “I’m sorry that’s too bad.” If you are aware you may be doing this for attention, guess what? You will get even more attention and friends by talking about what is great in your life. If you aren’t already doing it try it out and see how others react to you differently than when you are talking about what is wrong in your life.

So…whether you believe in “The Secret” or not take my secret (which is not a secret anymore:): Prevent and or stop attracting less than desirable things into your life by not continuing to spread the news about them when you already have felt out the feelings about them to move on. Choose to make your mind your best friend versus your worst which will attract more friends your way.

Thank you for taking the time to read my blog. It is very much appreciated. Have a great rest of your day:)